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Is It Wise To Stay Married For The Sake Of The Children?

If the topic of divorce has come up between you and your spouse, you may be at a turning point in your marriage. Whether one of you started the conversation in a calm and rational moment or hurled it as a threat during a heated argument, once you speak the word, it is often hard to pull it back. Still, if you have children, breaking up the marriage is a decidedly difficult choice.

You may think that staying together for the children is the best idea, and you may be right. In fact, many couples wait until their children are in high school or go off to college before they take serious steps to end their marriages. Whether this is right for you and your family may depend on a number of factors.

Should I stay?

Even if you and your spouse can achieve an amicable and respectful breakup, there is no denying that divorce is traumatic for children, and the effects of a divorce often remain with a child into adulthood. As parents, you and your spouse may desire to spare the children this hardship by postponing your divorce, if it is possible for you to do so and remain civil.

This will certainly require sacrifice on both sides, and often those sacrifices are painful. For example, you may temporarily give up the idea of finding love to remain with your spouse for the sake of the children. On the other hand, if there is a chance that you and your spouse will reconcile and renew your commitment to each other, staying put may be an option for you.

Or should I go?

In some situations, staying together for the sake of the children may be a very bad idea and may, in fact, cause more harm than good. Some examples of this may include:

  • You are in an abusive marriage.
  • You and your spouse can’t be together without fighting.
  • You have tried counseling and are certain there is no hope for your marriage.
  • Your children are already suffering because of the tension in the family.
  • You believe that your family will be happier if you and your spouse split up.

Many family law experts know from experience that most Florida couples who delay divorcing for the sake of the children may end up growing more miserable and resentful as time goes on. They often regret that they did not end the marriage sooner and give themselves and their children more time to start fresh with a new life.